How to support someone with depression?

Depression affects many people, regardless of age, gender, or background. When someone close to us is living with it, we may feel powerless, clumsy, or even lost. Yet, there are simple gestures—accessible to everyone—that can bring comfort and truly make a difference.

Here are some ways to support a loved one experiencing depression, while also remembering to take care of yourself in the process.

1. Understand depression without judgment

Before being able to support someone, it’s important to understand. Depression is not just temporary sadness or a lack of willpower. It’s a mental health condition that affects the body, mind, energy, sleep, appetite, and self-esteem. Saying things like “snap out of it” or “think positive” can—often unintentionally—worsen feelings of isolation.

Tip: Take a few minutes to read an article, watch a video, or listen to a podcast that explains depression. This can help you better grasp what your loved one is going through.

2. Offer genuine presence

You don’t need to fix things or find the right words. Sometimes, simply being there—even in silence—is enough. A walk side by side, sharing a meal, a short visit, or a supportive message can brighten a dark day.

Tip: Send a short text such as: “I’m thinking of you. I’m here if you’d like to chat or just have some company.” Even if the person doesn’t reply, your message matters.

3. Encourage without forcing

Suggesting professional help is a loving gesture—but it should come without pressure. Offering to help (booking an appointment, looking up resources, going with them) can remove some barriers.

Tip: Say something like: “If you’d like, I can help you find someone to talk to. We can look at the options together.”

4. Respect their pace and boundaries (and your own)

Your loved one may refuse help or shut down. This isn’t personal. Be patient without insisting. At the same time, remember that you also need rest, support, and healthy boundaries.

Tip: Take time for activities that bring you joy. Talking to another trusted person or a professional can help you process your own experience.

5. Offer small, concrete gestures

Sometimes, someone experiencing depression doesn’t have the energy to think about what they need. Offering practical help can ease their mental load.

Tip: Suggest simple things like: “Can I drop off a homemade meal for you?” or “Would you like me to come with you to the grocery store?”

6. Hold on to hope without denying reality

Depression can last for a while, with ups and downs. The goal isn’t to say that everything will be fine right away, but to remind your loved one that resources exist, healing is possible, and you’ll be there along the way.

Tip: Instead of saying “You’ll get better soon,” try “I’m here with you, no matter where you’re at today.”

Supporting someone with depression is like lighting a small lamp in a dark room. It’s not your role to make the darkness disappear, but your light can help guide them along their path. With listening, kindness, and simple gestures, you can make an immense difference.