Dementia, Aging, or Mental Health: How Can You Tell the Difference?

Steve Fillion

Aug 6

4 min read

Note: this text does not replace a professional assessment, medical advice, or legal advice. If there is immediate danger, call 9-1-1.

When an older loved one changes, it is natural to worry. More frequent forgetfulness, mood changes, withdrawal, neglect, or confusion can raise many questions. Is it normal aging? Depression? Early dementia? A reaction to loss?

It is not always possible to tell the difference on your own. Several signs can look similar, and a professional assessment can help clarify what is happening. What matters is observing without judgement and seeking support when changes become concerning.

Aging does not mean losing everything

Aging can bring some changes: memory that feels a bit slower, more fatigue, a greater need for routine, or a different pace. But not every change should be automatically blamed on aging.

An older person who becomes very sad, confused, anxious, irritable, or disoriented is not simply “getting old.” Something may need attention: physical health, pain, medication, depression, isolation, grief, cognitive changes, or another factor.

Occasional forgetfulness or concerning signs

Everyone forgets a name, misplaces keys, or loses their train of thought from time to time. It becomes more concerning when forgetfulness affects daily life: getting lost in a familiar place, forgetting to pay bills, repeating the same question often, struggling with a familiar recipe, or missing important appointments.

Other signs may appear: mood or personality changes, social withdrawal, loss of initiative, neglect of hygiene, difficulty managing money, confusion about dates or places, or unusual suspicion toward loved ones.

Depression in older adults can look different

Depression in an older adult can sometimes be confused with dementia or with aging. It may show up as fatigue, irritability, loss of interest, slowing down, physical complaints, poor concentration, or withdrawal.

That is why it is important not to jump to conclusions. A person who seems to be losing motivation, withdrawing from activities, or isolating deserves to be heard and assessed respectfully.

The role of caregivers

Loved ones are often the first to notice changes. Write down concrete facts: How long have the changes been present? When do they happen? What has become harder? Is the person safe at home?

Avoid confronting or humiliating the person. Use simple phrases: “I’ve noticed some changes and I’m worried about you.” or “Maybe we could talk to someone to understand what is happening.”

When to ask for help

Ask for help if changes last, worsen, affect safety, create major distress, or leave the caregiver exhausted. An assessment can help identify possible causes and connect the family with appropriate resources.

If the person talks about suicide, appears to be in immediate danger, or suddenly becomes very confused, act quickly: call 9-1-1 for immediate danger or use 9-8-8 if suicidal thoughts are present.

How REFLEXION can support you

REFLEXION can offer a space to talk through concerns, support the person or loved ones, and help identify next steps. Asking for help early can reduce the burden on the family and make it easier to act with clarity.

Takeaway

Forgetting one detail does not mean someone has dementia. But significant, persistent, or concerning changes deserve attention. Observing, documenting, talking, and asking for help are protective steps.

Resources

- REFLEXION - Wellness Services: https://www.reflexion.ca/en

- 9-8-8: Suicide Crisis Helpline: https://988.ca/

- Alzheimer Society of Canada - 10 warning signs of dementia: https://alzheimer.ca/en/about-dementia/do-i-have-dementia/10-warning-signs-dementia

- Alzheimer Society of Canada - Changes in mood and personality: https://alzheimer.ca/en/help-information/im-caring-person-living-dementia/understanding-symptoms/changes-mood-personality

- CAMH - Depression: https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/mental-illness-and-addiction-index/depression

Les proches sont souvent les premiers à remarquer les changements.

Notez les faits concrets : depuis quand les changements sont-ils présents ? À quel moment apparaissent-ils ? Qu’est-ce qui s’est détérioré ? Est-ce que la personne est en sécurité à la maison ?

Évitez de confronter ou d’humilier la personne. Préférez des phrases simples : « J’ai remarqué certains changements et je m’inquiète pour toi. » ou « On pourrait en parler à quelqu’un pour comprendre ce qui se passe. »

Quand demander de l’aide

Demandez de l’aide si les changements durent, s’aggravent, nuisent à la sécurité, créent beaucoup de détresse ou épuisent le proche aidant. Une évaluation peut aider à identifier les causes possibles et à orienter la famille vers les bonnes ressources.

Si la personne parle de suicide, semble en danger immédiat ou devient très confuse soudainement, il faut agir rapidement : composez le 9-1-1 en cas de danger immédiat ou utilisez le 9-8-8 si des idées suicidaires sont présentes.

Comment REFLEXION peut vous soutenir

REFLEXION peut offrir un espace pour parler des inquiétudes, accompagner la personne ou ses proches, et aider à identifier les prochaines étapes. Demander de l’aide tôt peut alléger le poids porté par la famille et permettre d’agir avec plus de clarté.

À retenir

Oublier un détail ne veut pas dire avoir une démence. Mais des changements marqués, persistants ou inquiétants méritent d’être pris au sérieux. Observer, documenter, parler et demander de l’aide sont des gestes de protection.